I Wish Facebook Didn't Exist

This may seem strange for someone who makes their living from social media, but I wish Facebook didn't exist for my social life's sake. Having just moved across the country, I should appreciate how it makes keeping in touch with friends easy with being able to see all of my friends pictures and chatting with them, but I resent it for that very reason.

Facebook makes me feel like I'm interacting with my friends without actually interacting with my friends. I start to text my friend to see how she's been, but I stop because I've seen that she's been sick so I already know the answer to my own question. By seeing daily updates from my friends I know the big updates of their lives, but in reality I'm losing touch with them more by the day. If Facebook didn't exist, when I talked to an old friend, they would ask the inevitable question, 'What's new with you?' and I'd have the pleasure of saying 'I just got married!'. But instead people don't bother because they already went through my 300+ wedding pictures and wall full of "Congrats!" posts on Facebook. When socializing has become so easy and so many new ways to socialize are out there, why are we interacting less instead of more?

                                   

Facebook has made me feel more isolated in a new city instead of made me feel connected to my friends from home. Now when people post about the weather, I can't relate because I already experienced the same weather the day before. When people post a picture of Summer Snow or Taco Casa, my favorite foods from Tuscaloosa, it makes me wonder how long it will be until I get to have that food again. I announced I was moving and I sought to reconnect with all of my friends, see all of them before I left in order to build up these relationships so they could be sustained even after I moved. But I found that now I have less reason to keep in contact with them. There's no more 'Want to hang out tonight?' texts. There's no more making plans because we're too far away for that. I've made a conscious effort to maintain texting with a few of my friends, but once a lull comes in the conversation it's easy to let this go. Soon, I fear, this talking every week will become every month, then when I come back to visit I won't bother to visit someone I never talk to anymore

And how am I supposed to make new friends in this kind of society? Everyone already has their "large" circle of e-friends. They feel content with the crowd they already hang out with. I see my parents and Dustin's parents have maintained friendships for decades despite moves and changes in their lives. And I can't help but wonder if that is feasible for our generation. With all of these new tools, it's become so easy for a real life friend to revert to just a Facebook friend. Most of the time here, I'm at home, trying to let Dustin focus on his new job to ensure his success. But when we do venture out to potential new friends, everyone's already in their circles and when they might have reached out to someone new after their friend went to the bathroom or to the bar, now they turn to their phone. I can't complain because I'm just as guilty as they are, but I do wish it were different.
   

                                             
I wish we could revert to a little less "social" society and a little more social of a society; less virtual socialization and more actual socialization. I wish instead of texting a friend at a bar, we'd make a new friend at the bar. I wish instead of searching for the perfect Instagram filter, we'd search for a reason to reach out to a friend. I wish instead of being content with Facebook chatting, we'd feel more comfortable picking up the phone to call someone. But most of all, I wish there was a simple scenario where I could befriend someone. Talk to a stranger at a bar? Unless they're drunk, they'll think you're a weirdo and back away at the first chance. I thought of the bright idea to join a young professionals group, but most of their events cost money to attend. How do you turn a smile from across the room and the feeling you could relate to that person into a friendship into our society when we put so many guards up to avoid meeting strangers? Well, I'll do my part in reaching out to old friends and being open to meeting new ones if you will.