We need more Charlottes and less Carries

We hear it all the time: gone are the days of romance and chivalry. But what caused it to go away? And do we truly want it back? It seems that every RomCom that comes out has a more complicated plot than the one before it. There's no more simple love stories. There's stories about getting knocked up with frozen sperm and about how two friends try to be fuck buddies but end up falling in love. Production companies don't just make these movies for the hell of it. We demanded it and said we're bored with the idea of a really great love story. And we wonder why no one can stay in a relationship. We can't even stand to watch a relationship for an hour and a half on the big screen. Maybe if more "normal" relationships were portrayed in movies and on TV instead of these complicated girls getting over their issues to accept love from a perfect guy.

I'm referring to the Carrie Bradshaws and Meredith Gray's out there. When a girl first watches Sex and the City, they immediately identify with Carrie. "I like to talk about myself too!", "I like to write (well, I had a journal four years ago)!", and most of all "I'm complicated just like her." But hopefully, after watching the show more, you realize that Carrie isn't a character you want to identify with. She's in the same boat as many other likeable unlikable characters like Scarlett O'Hara and Holly Golightly.

We need less Rachel's and more Monica's. More Summer Robert's and less Lorelai Gilmore's. More Charlotte's and less Carrie's. More Lilly's and less Meredith Gray's. More Topanga's and less Scarlett O'Haras.

While, they seem fun and relatable, they aren't people you would want to be friends with in real life. Deep down, they're selfish, flighty, and sometimes downright mean. It seems in Sex in the City and Grey's Anatomy the common enemy in the story isn't some bad guy, but it's the "issues" the overly-complicated main character has to overcome. And how realistic are some of these issues anyways? The perfect guy comes along and you can't get over yourself enough to let him love you? Come on. It's easier to let him in then to let him get away. Whether we realize it or not, we're modeling our behavior after these characters. They're teaching us that only silly, naive girls don't have issues and are straightforward to deal with. They say it's better to let out how you really feel and be mean than to have a positive outlook and treat others how you'd like to be treated. They take pride in saying no, because that's what they want to say instead of sucking it up and doing it anyways. And so do we. To prove it, here's a post from a blogger targeting college sorority girls.

 It was a Tuesday night when Eric Wellington brought our previously super-hot tryst to an end. We’d been talking for about two weeks, so I was still really excited every time he texted me. Still announce-it-to-the-room excited. Imagine my disappointment when he texted me something so disgusting and vulgar that it led me to throw my phone across the room, rendering me unable to read it aloud to my roomies

         “Sweet dreams, beautiful.”

I never spoke to him again. Whenever his name lit up on my phone, I cringed. The memory still haunts me.

Are you kidding me? Someone finally gives you the attention you deserve and you don't even know what to do with it. I'd be willing to bet these are the same girls who drown themselves in Franzia on Friday nights waiting for a text from that asshole they slept with last week. You can't have it both ways. You can't wish for the perfect guy to come around then throw him away when you found him.

I'll admit it: sometimes it's hard to let go of the chase. The wondering what to say in a text and wondering what will happen the next time I see him and how our story will play out. My husband and I are out of firsts. While that may seem boring to some and even to me every once in a while. There's another side to it. The knowing I'll always have someone in the bed beside me watching endless TV seasons of Netflix, that if I don't feel like cooking he will pick up the slack and make something, and that I have someone who knows exactly when to cut my off so I won't be immobilizingly hungover the next morning.

So you cynical Carrie Bradshaw's out there, if you're ever going to get your happy ending, it's not going to be when Mr. Big finally decides it get his shit together. It's going to be with an Aiden.The nice guy you wouldn't give the time of day three years ago. The guy who sends you a good morning text, pulls you in when you're running away and puts a ring on your finger.