Lessons Rachel Taught Me

Sometimes I feel a little silly about how obsessed I am with Rachel Hollis and the amazing content she creates. It’s like I’m a teenager fan-girling over a boy band or something. I relish in everything she puts out there (and the vast majority is free), talk about her as if she’s a personal friend, and am forever grateful for the impact she’s had on my life. Now, of course, you could go find her and stalk all the material she’s put out there on your own, but, in case that feels too overwhelming or you need a little more encouragement before you do so, I’ll share a few of her lessons in this blog.

1. Other people’s opinions are none of your business. This isn’t meant to be hurtful, but you aren’t as big of a deal as you think you are. People don’t sit around thinking about your decisions. They’re too busy thinking about themselves and what other people are thinking about them. You have to be so secure in what you’re doing, that someone else’s opinion can’t shake that confidence. You know who gets to have an opinion on your parenting? Your kids and maybe your partner. You know who gets to care about the job you’re doing? Your boss and co-workers. Not your mother-in-law, not your neighbors, and definitely not your random Facebook friends. While we’re at it, did they even outright say that they didn’t approve of your choices? Or did they just make a face or not say something. Are you really basing your life decisions over something so miniscule?
2. Move your body for 30 minutes every day- “A power plant doesn’t have energy, it creates energy.” Moving your body doesn’t just change your body, it improves your mindset. No matter how much you don’t want to work out when you get started, somewhere along the way, you get into it. And you’ll ALWAYS feel better once you did it. It’s not always a hard workout. Sometimes it’s just a walk or playing with your kids, but it’s something every day.
3. You’ll never find time for yourself. You have to make time for yourself. She recommends getting up an hour earlier than your kids/than when you need to get ready. The first 90 minutes you’re awake are when you are the most effective. Use this time to focus on what you want to do. Don’t waste it on emails or other people’s agenda. If you have a goal you’re striving for, work on that. Get your work out in, journal, pray, meditate. Use that time for yourself.
4. Drink half your body weight in water every day. Rachel does her whole body weight and I try to as well. Half your weight is a good rule of thumb for how much you need. It has tons of benefits: you flush out toxins, you’re hydrated, it fills you up so you don’t snack as much.
5. If you project that you are _____, then you will be. You have to choose to be positive and to see the blessings in your life each day. You choose your thoughts and there isn’t one thing running through your mind that you don’t allow to be there. You are not stupid, so stop telling yourself that you are. If you want to be more patient, then pretend that you are. Fake it for a while and a few minutes in, you’ll be able to stop faking it and genuinely feel this way.
6. Stop setting yourself up as a martyr. Stop taking it all on alone and then feeling bitter about it. Stop wasting time on activities you hate as penance for time you want for yourself. This one hit me hard. If you want your husband to help you clean the house, ask him to help. Don’t just angrily clean around him and hope that he can read your mind. You’re allowed to say no to things that you don’t want to do. You don’t HAVE to volunteer for something you don’t enjoy doing.                                                                        
7. Write your dreams down as if they’ve already happened. She does a podcast about exactly how to do this practice. It’s number 72 of the Rise Podcast. She sells Start Today Journals, but you can also do this practice in a regular spiral notebook. What you do is dream about the ideal life that you’d like to lead. What you would do if there was nothing in your way. The very best version of yourself. Then, break that down into 10 dreams. They should be big. They should scare you. You don’t have to reach them right away. The goal is to reach them within 10 years. But instead of writing them like: “I will be a successful author.” You say: “I am a successful author.” You write the same goals every day until you reach that goal. You also write 5 things that you’re grateful for every day. Once you look for things to be grateful for, you’ll find it all around you.
8. Won’t try to reach all of your goals all at once. Focus on one goal and take massive action to get to your goal. Don’t dream- plan for success. Success is choosing between what you want now, and what you want most. If you know you’ll have a challenging time, don’t just give up. If you want to take a break from drinking, don’t just say well, on Thanksgiving, I’ll have one glass of wine. Come prepared for what you’ll tell people or even tell them ahead of time you won’t be drinking. Anticipate your challenges and plan for how you’ll overcome them.
9. Good girls don’t ____/it's okay to have dreams. We’ve all heard the lies: Good girls don’t hustle. Good girls put their family first. Good girls stay at home with their young children. Don’t get too big. But that’s all they are, lies. It is okay to have dreams. Actually, it’s imperative that you do. We all need something to strive towards or we’d go crazy with boredom. Dream big. Don’t just say I maybe want to have a business one day. Say, I want to own a children’s clothing store. Doing things for yourself will benefit your family.
10. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Picture yourself as a vase with cups surrounding it. Most women are pouring our water out to all the cups around us. We pour a little here and a little there, struggling to pour it all out evenly. But eventually, we’ll tip over. Instead. If we pour into ourselves, filling the vase up then the water will overflow to all of those around us. If we make ourselves happy and fulfilled, then others will reap the benefits from that as well.
11. Eat the stupid salad. Quit making excuses of why you aren’t skinny or why you’re tired. Just eat the stupid salad. Greens give you essential vitamins and energy.
12. No one else will believe in your dreams as much as you do. You can’t wait for someone else to cheer you on with the goal you want to achieve. You can’t get disappointed when they don’t believe in you. That’s on you.  Just get started. You don’t have to know the whole journey when you start. Just focus on making the next right decision. Start with your goal, and reverse engineer how to get there. You don’t grow or change by sitting in one place. Successful people don’t have all the answers. They figure it out as they go and are willing to take chances. Maybe you were given this mountain to show other people that it can be moved.
13. Fully dealing with your pain or grief is better than numbing in an unhealthy way with alcohol or some other vice. Real life is going to suck sometimes. You cannot control the circumstances of your life; you can only control your reaction to them.
14. Instead of being the thermometer, be the thermostat. Most of us change or mood according to the things that happen to us. We sit in traffic for an hour, we get in a bad mood. Your husband buys you flowers, you brighten up. Instead of letting everything affect you and being at the mercy of things outside of your control, be the thermostat. Set the precedent that you are going to feel positive, no matter what. Your temperature is set on a comfortable 71 degrees (or whatever your preference is), no matter if it's burning hot outside or snowing. You get to decide how to react in a given situation. 
15. You can look at your past and see all the hard times. All the reasons why you aren’t successful and can use it as an excuse of why you can’t be successful. OR you can see that life happens for you, not to you. Stop crying about what happened and take control over what happens next.

 

16. Learn to ask for help and accept any and all help you can get. Famous and successful women don’t ‘do it all’ like they portray. They have help and lots of it. 

17. Be the kind of woman who focuses more on being interested than on other people thinking that she’s interesting. Be the kind of woman who laughs loudly and often.Be the kind of woman who is generous- no matter how much money is in your bank account, you have a wealth of resources to offer others. Be the kind of woman who spends a lifetime learning. Be the kind of woman both your eleven-year-old self and your ninety-year-old self would be proud of. Be the kind of woman who shows up for her life. Be the kind of woman who understands that she was made for more. Be the kind of woman who believes that she is capable of doing amazing things in this world. Be the kind of woman whose own dreams make her nervous- and then go and go them anyway. Be the kind of woman who never asks permission to be herself.

If you weren’t already impressed by these powerful words, what I also want you to know is that I didn’t go to Rachel Hollis’ page at all for these quotes and lessons. Everything came from screenshots I’ve saved on my phone and shared to my page. These lessons have truly made an impact on my life and I hope they inspire change on your life as well.