What about me? Questions that moms want you to ask.
One of the hardest parts of being a stay-at-home mom is that people I interact with (aside from fellow SAHMs and children) no longer know how to connect with me. I'm not saying that they don't talk to me, they do. But it's usually about a.) my child or b.) my husband. Now, I'm so deprived for conversation that I'll happily talk your ear off about either conversation. On the ride home from social events, I usually feel down about the fact that no one asked about me and (maybe even more sadly) I didn't tell anyone what's going on with my life. I want to whine like my toddler and ask 'What about me? I'm a person too!' But I have to realize I'm just as big a part of the problem as other people are. I'll go on about all of the new things that Marissa is doing or share Dustin's career news as if it were my own. I want people to care about me and my dreams, but I've learned that no one is going to care about them as much as I do. I have to change instead of waiting for people to change. I'll share some of the things I wish I could talk more about during dinner conversations in order to get them out in the open, but also to give you an idea of how to start conversations with me and other moms.
1. What projects are you working on?
For me, these projects are primarily centered around Christmas. I'm finishing up my shopping, doing craft projects with Marissa, and painting some Christmas decorations. Soon (!) we are getting new flooring put in the living room. Ten years + potty training has not been kind to our carpet.
Why it's a good question:
Moms are always working on other things. Our life may be centered around our kids, but we're constantly searching for some piece of life we can claim as our own, so we find projects to do. It makes me feel valuable and that I've completed something at the end of the day.
2. Have you bought anything you're excited about lately?
Honestly, I'm probably most excited about the presents I've bought for Dustin. They're mostly games for us to play together, so it's really more of a present for me. Also, super pumped aboutthe good stuff
Why it's a good question:
It seems like buying things is my part-time job. I take on all the family shopping and grocery shopping. When I get a good deal on something, it feels like earning money. When I find the tacky sweater I was looking for in a crunch, it feels like a win. And moms like me desperately need a win.
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I see myself as a successful entrepreneur. I have more books out. Maybe even some non-fiction ones. I've launched a business that gives me the ability to earn a significant income without having to get a full-time job.
Why it's a great question:
It's a nicer way of asking moms if they still plan to stay at home when their kids are in school. Also, we so rarely get to talk about our dreams and ambitions so it's nice if someone acknowledges them.
4. Are you reading any good books/listening to any new podcasts/ watching any good shows or movies?
Personally, I am so into Podcasts lately. I really love the Office Ladies podcasts and I also listen to Hot Marriage, Cool Parents (Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner from Married at First Sight's podcast) religiously. I really enjoyed listening to Raising Freakishly Well-Behaved Children. I've finished up the second season of Big Little Lies and Dustin and I are really into the show, All-American on the CW.
Why it's a good question:
Because we have our own interests. Don't assume we're only consuming kids' content. We want any opportunity to share our opinions with grown people.
5. Do you have any advice about (a particular area of parenting or housework )?
I've created a schedule for me and Marissa in order to keep me productive/find time for everything. I've made time to play on Marissa's schedule. She doesn't have to play like I would. I can play like she does. Quantity of time with her doesn't equal quality time. Keeping a clean and organized house will make your life so much easier. You'll feel more put together and be able to find things when you need them.
Why it's a good question:
I don't know about other moms, but I love feeling like an expert. Some days, it feels like I haven't used my brain that day. If someone recognizes me as an expert in a topic, it really brightens my day.
6. What's your favorite thing todo that's just for you?
I love getting lost in a good book. Really getting time to make progress in a book. I love a good home improvement project, even if it's just something small like painting the trim. Also, I love watching my shows... Grey's Anatomy and This is Us are my go-to guilty pleasures. I love the chance to do a craft project like painting in complete silence.
Why it's a good question:
Again, you're focusing on who they are and what makes them tick and also, it's a gentle reminder that not only is it okay to take time for themselves, but it's encouraged.
Hopefully, I've lead you on the right direction of the kinds of questions you should be asking moms. And this will make your holiday chit-chat a little better. It feels like the second we have a baby, the focus goes from being about us, to about the baby. It's okay to ask a mom how she's doing and to focus on what's new with her. No, I don't have a regular job that's easy to refer back to for small talk, but that doesn't mean that every conversation has to revolve around my child or my husband. I've set my word for 2020 to be Connection. I think it's really missing in today's world. We're around people more and able to talk in more ways than ever, but are we really connecting with each other?
1. What projects are you working on?
For me, these projects are primarily centered around Christmas. I'm finishing up my shopping, doing craft projects with Marissa, and painting some Christmas decorations. Soon (!) we are getting new flooring put in the living room. Ten years + potty training has not been kind to our carpet.
Why it's a good question:
Moms are always working on other things. Our life may be centered around our kids, but we're constantly searching for some piece of life we can claim as our own, so we find projects to do. It makes me feel valuable and that I've completed something at the end of the day.
2. Have you bought anything you're excited about lately?
Honestly, I'm probably most excited about the presents I've bought for Dustin. They're mostly games for us to play together, so it's really more of a present for me. Also, super pumped about
Why it's a good question:
It seems like buying things is my part-time job. I take on all the family shopping and grocery shopping. When I get a good deal on something, it feels like earning money. When I find the tacky sweater I was looking for in a crunch, it feels like a win. And moms like me desperately need a win.
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I see myself as a successful entrepreneur. I have more books out. Maybe even some non-fiction ones. I've launched a business that gives me the ability to earn a significant income without having to get a full-time job.
Why it's a great question:
It's a nicer way of asking moms if they still plan to stay at home when their kids are in school. Also, we so rarely get to talk about our dreams and ambitions so it's nice if someone acknowledges them.
4. Are you reading any good books/listening to any new podcasts/ watching any good shows or movies?
Personally, I am so into Podcasts lately. I really love the Office Ladies podcasts and I also listen to Hot Marriage, Cool Parents (Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner from Married at First Sight's podcast) religiously. I really enjoyed listening to Raising Freakishly Well-Behaved Children. I've finished up the second season of Big Little Lies and Dustin and I are really into the show, All-American on the CW.
Why it's a good question:
Because we have our own interests. Don't assume we're only consuming kids' content. We want any opportunity to share our opinions with grown people.
5. Do you have any advice about (a particular area of parenting or house
I've created a schedule for me and Marissa in order to keep me productive/find time for everything. I've made time to play on Marissa's schedule. She doesn't have to play like I would. I can play like she does. Quantity of time with her doesn't equal quality time. Keeping a clean and organized house will make your life so much easier. You'll feel more put together and be able to find things when you need them.
Why it's a good question:
I don't know about other moms, but I love feeling like an expert. Some days, it feels like I haven't used my brain that day. If someone recognizes me as an expert in a topic, it really brightens my day.
6. What's your favorite thing to
I love getting lost in a good book. Really getting time to make progress in a book. I love a good home improvement project, even if it's just something small like painting the trim. Also, I love watching my shows... Grey's Anatomy and This is Us are my go-to guilty pleasures. I love the chance to do a craft project like painting in complete silence.
Why it's a good question:
Again, you're focusing on who they are and what makes them tick and also, it's a gentle reminder that not only is it okay to take time for themselves, but it's encouraged.
Hopefully, I
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